DRUNK STORIES: Cinco de Mayo with Feathers and Serendipity!

 Serendipity and I started our day off as usual, skipping through flower fields and giggling! It was Cinco De Mayo and we didn't have any plans. We, of course, bought a bottle of Tequila... a big one... but we had nowhere to take it.

While partying alone in  the backyard (as we often do), we heard party noises coming from the other side of the fence. We grabbed the bottle and ran around the block. Always bring booze when crashing a party.

 We got to the party and found a fiesta of young gay men! Needless to say, we had a great time. We played drinking games, ate chips and salsa, and talked about shoes. At the end of the night Serendipity and I stumbled back home, but suddenly we realized that we still had our neighbor's lighter! We couldn't just keep the lighter, that's definitely breaking a commandment, so we decided to stumble back around the block and give it back. We got all the way to our neighbor's house only to find that the fence was locked! We were horrified, but we couldn't just give up!

This is where our drunk alter-egos took over. Keep in mind, everyone has a drunk alter ego. In my mind, I am a swift and elusive ninja, and Serendipity is a 7 foot Viking with more muscle than the Terminator!

 After a few seconds of staring at the fence trying to figure out what to do, Serendipity slurred, "Stand on my back, I'll lift you over the fence!" It was all so simple! Serendipity would crouch down on the cement, I would stand on her back, and with her immense Viking strength she would lift me over a 9 ft wall! I would use her spine as a stepping stool and leap the rest of the way, landing gracefully on the other side like a cat.

I was wearing heeled cowboy boots, but I didn't think twice. I paid no attention to the height of the fence and the fact that Serendipity is a 5'5" woman. What did I think was going to happen once I reached the top? I was going to drop kick, somersault and land on my feet. YES! I am a drunk-acrobatic-flying-cowboy-ninja!

Our plan was flawed. Contrary to popular belief, Serendipity cannot stand up with a drunk girl on her back, and I do not posses the ability to fly. Our master drunk-plan ended something like this:

I put my shoe back on and then another genius plan came to me. I saw a gap in the fence between the hinges and the garage. Yes! I slipped in sideways (like a ninja) and unlocked the door and let her in. We gave her neighbor back his lighter and stumbled home. (In case you're wondering, yes, we could have just rang the doorbell.)

 The next morning we woke up with the worst hangover ever recorded in history. We decided to get a greasy, convenient breakfast somewhere. Serendipity got into her car, leaned back, and screamed! She said her spine felt crushed. We brainstormed for a while, and finally bits and pieces of the night came back to us. Needless to say, we swore off tequila for the next few months and went back to drinking rum and wine.

The moral of the story is to always run your drunk ideas by at least  one semi-sober person -- that way you wont try to climb on your friends back and fly over a 9 ft. fence.

x
Feathers x Serendipity