1. Abandon all of your old uncool friends. Cut your family off. You can't trust all of your regular civilian friends anymore. Assume everyone is using you for all of your new awesome connections. Everyone you've ever loved is now conspiring against you. Craft yourself a impenetrable tin foil hat and get a untraceable cell phone.
2. Invest in a new wardrobe. Buy some black lace, leather, crotchless chaps and anything else that seems trashy and indignant. Refer back to Groupie 101 Rule # 5 and completely abandon the use of bras and underwear.
3. Change your sleep patterns. Stay up all night drinking red bull and vodka and sleep all day. Become a nocturnal alcoholic. Remember, real rock stars live off of frozen pizzas and Del Taco at midnight. Pretty soon (thanks to the deterioration of your physical and mental health) you will become a shell of your former self and being a shameless groupie will become a lot easier!
4. Become a Kleptomaniac. You have infiltrated your favorite rock stars home! Now what? Make away from their house with everything and anything of value. Take things like hair from the bathroom, nail clippings and silver wear. Do not get caught, if you do you'll look insane! If this happens, deny everything -- never tell on yourself. 5. Babies! Does this person have children? If they do, assume this child is a musical prodigy. Steal the baby and raise in a cave full of keyboards where its musical talents can be harvested and cultivated for your own use.
There ya have it! Now go out there and live somebody else's dream! I am so proud of you.
oh my.
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"never tell on yourself" i see grandma's advice here XD
ok i so want to be your best friend and yes i'm conspiring to use you..lol
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