Questions and Answers!

Q-- i've had him sitting in this bear trap for 18 hours now and he's starting to smell. what should I do next? i shoved some potpourri in his wound. i really feel like he's the one, because he's crying a lot and that means he's emotional about us being together.

Serendipity Says :

Whatever you do, don't feel sorry for him. If he's a real man, he can take it. Just let him sit around a while longer and eventually he'll pass out. Then let him out of the bear trap and douse him in water. When he wakes up, he'll be a shell of his former self, and completely at your disposal. :)

Congratulations! You now have your very own Man Slave.

Feathers Says:

You are doing everything right. If you cant get him with Stockholm Syndrome, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder will definitely do the trick. Fire gun shots near him (not at him) and pop balloons in his face, tell him how worthless he is and show him pictures of his mother. Create a pattern of muscle memory, if he does something you don't like, snap rubber bands at him. This is also a great time to show him how you've been practicing breast feeding. This way, he gets to see your amazing rack AND see what a wonderful wife/mother you'll make! You guys are going be so happy together -- Jealous. For the rotting flesh smell, light a candle.