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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Steaming Pile of Man-Project

Would you say your new man is a "diamond in the rough?" Are you going to be the 1,000,000 tons of pressure it takes to turn this piece of "coal" into a beautiful, sparkly diamond? Here are a few reasons of why you are wasting your time.


1. You will never get the recognition you think you deserve for "saving" this person. People with insurmountable baggage are like pits of quicksand. You can stand by at the safe distance and poke them with a stick but most likely you are going to end up drowning in their bullshit. There is no award ceremony for "Most Improved Boyfriend" or "Bossiest girlfriend."


2."But...but....I see all the potential in him that not even he sees!"
..."I know who he really is."
..."He just needs someone to believe in him!"
..."He just needs some TLC!"..
This person is not a house plant, a chia pet, or a feral cat. 



3."What about Johnny Cash and June Carter! She saved him ya know."
I know, I know. Dealing with immature crap has been romanticized. Suddenly saving the "broken and tortured artist" from his own head has become an act of nobility. It's an illusion and we are not all June Carter and all men are not Johnny Cash.


4."Hes already changing, he got a job..that says something" Joy! Your man (who should have already had a job) now has one because you asked him to. Did he enroll in school "for you?" Where is he attending? Never date a man caught in the black hole that is community college. They might be going places, but lets allow them to get there first before we stamp them "date-able."


5. Do not be the shark to the Pilot Fish. A pilot fish is tiny fish that attaches itself along side a shark to feed on its leftovers all while protecting itself from the shark. Do not let this man feed on your left overs! You are not his mommy! If you want to take care of something, get a cat.


6."Well I'm not Shallow and I don't care about things like money."
Well you should. Do not get caught in a whirl wind of crap with a man who is avoiding responsibility. Living an adult life requires money.We all have to work, no body likes it, but you do it anyway. If you have to be the paint scrapper that gets this man self esteem off the sidewalk, RUN!

7."He had a hard life, he doesn't know any better." Not an excuse, everyone has a story and there are a lot of functioning people with less-than-perfect childhoods. Also, this is not your problem. Do not get pulled into a pity party. People struggle, life can be hard and terrible but you are under no obligation to restore this person.


  Ladies, go out there and find a man who is no need of fixing! Do not be the poor fool that tidies up this piece-of-work for the next victim. It is very easy to allow yourself to be inspired by the drive to heal someone. Think about yourself, think about what you deserve, and think about your precious sanity!


x
Feathers

3 comments:

  1. YEAH!
    And I'm loving the ongoing "poke it with a stick" philosophy! *goes out to look for a good poking stick* :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. there are a lot of things out there that need poking....like this bottle of wine and the 2nd season of TB

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